Sometimes when I'm feeling a bit too wild-eyed, I imagine our son as a the adorable toddler he must have been, playing under the banana trees outside his home in Ethiopia, and I start to feel calmer. His life was so simple then: eat, play, hide in the shade under the banana trees, find mama when you are hungry or tired or thirsty, play some more.
We are not living in simple times now, not at all. We are walking through what us adoptive families call "traumaversary" season. This month marks 3 years since Daniel and Lily's simple life in Ethiopia was tragically ended. Soon it will be July, which will mark 2 years since their life in America began. Those two big events don't go un-noticed around here. We've got lots more tantrums, lots more non-compliance, lots more grumpiness. If only children grieved logically. If only he could say, "I'm sad because 3 years ago my mom died." But it doesn't work that way. Instead it's "You are so mean! You NEVER let me... (wear shoes 3 sizes too big, play on the i-pad for 2 hours, watch R-rated movies or other completely irrational things) It's been a bit of a challenge to keep my cool and remember that what he's really saying with this annoying, difficult behavior is "I'm sad."
This morning I found myself ranting out loud to nobody, "Don't these children know it's Mother's Day!?!"
Plus we are moving.
Plus the school year is ending. And because this school year has been so long and so challenging*, everyone is ready for the end. Which means we're all acting like it's June. Which is BAD. I really dislike June. It is the hot, sticky, sweaty, exhausting, dirty, dusty, can't possibly-end-soon-enough month. It's the wine for dinner, ice cream for lunch, iced coffee 5 times a day month.
* I was wondering why!? this year has felt so long, and then I remembered: hurricane, school shooting, flu upon flu upon flu, bombings, building collapses (in many of) our students' home country. It's been a long year.
So last night, after a long tantrum involving shoes, I crawled into bed beside our son and we talked about the banana trees for a while. And we felt a bit better.
We are not living in simple times now, not at all. We are walking through what us adoptive families call "traumaversary" season. This month marks 3 years since Daniel and Lily's simple life in Ethiopia was tragically ended. Soon it will be July, which will mark 2 years since their life in America began. Those two big events don't go un-noticed around here. We've got lots more tantrums, lots more non-compliance, lots more grumpiness. If only children grieved logically. If only he could say, "I'm sad because 3 years ago my mom died." But it doesn't work that way. Instead it's "You are so mean! You NEVER let me... (wear shoes 3 sizes too big, play on the i-pad for 2 hours, watch R-rated movies or other completely irrational things) It's been a bit of a challenge to keep my cool and remember that what he's really saying with this annoying, difficult behavior is "I'm sad."
This morning I found myself ranting out loud to nobody, "Don't these children know it's Mother's Day!?!"
Plus we are moving.
Plus the school year is ending. And because this school year has been so long and so challenging*, everyone is ready for the end. Which means we're all acting like it's June. Which is BAD. I really dislike June. It is the hot, sticky, sweaty, exhausting, dirty, dusty, can't possibly-end-soon-enough month. It's the wine for dinner, ice cream for lunch, iced coffee 5 times a day month.
* I was wondering why!? this year has felt so long, and then I remembered: hurricane, school shooting, flu upon flu upon flu, bombings, building collapses (in many of) our students' home country. It's been a long year.
So last night, after a long tantrum involving shoes, I crawled into bed beside our son and we talked about the banana trees for a while. And we felt a bit better.
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| Seriously! Is it summer yet!? |
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