Monday, March 6, 2017

3 Things I Suck at Mom-ing.

Now don't get me wrong, I think I'm a pretty good mom. My kids are both healthy and like to read and reasonably well adjusted. But I will not, as my friend and I joke often, be winning "Mom of the Year"...

There's always Next Year LOL!!!

So there here at least 3 things that I'm really bad at. (If you asked my 10 going-on-13 year old tween, I'm sure he would add another 100 thing, but then he can start his own blog can't he!)

I suck at:

1. Playing with toys. I can't even feign interest in their constantly evolving passions.  Once Daniel tried to teach me how to "play" Pokemon. (Are there rules? Does it EVER make any sense?! Whhaaaaaat?) I lasted about 3 minutes before I faked that dinner was burning or something and fled. My kids have learned that I don't like playing with toys. The occasional board game or cards, sure. Barbies? Superheros? Cars? No thank you. I may sit down for a minute, but then I see something that needs folding, cleaning or organizing and my kids roll their eyes at my furious muttering "Why are there Legos in the Barbie bin! Why are their Barbie shoes in the train set?!" and carry on on their own.

2. Keeping my cool. Maybe because I am paid to be patient all day, and I use up my reserves by the time I get home. Maybe it's because I'm 40 and humans were just not evolved to rear young at this age. (I should be a grandma by now, relaxing in the cave!) Whatever the reason, I'm not good at keeping my cool.  After the 2nd or 3rd time I've asked my kids to put their shoes on/brush their teeth/stop fighting/turn off the TV/etc my voice is at full throttle and my kids have donned their spittle guards.

3.  Not swearing.  Both my kids can swear like sailors, and it's not because they've been hanging out at the docks. Theoretically, I don't swear in front of my kids. But (see above) when I lose my cool because we're 10 minutes late getting out the door and they are fighting over a toy instead of putting their @#$% ing shoes on... well... Sorry, other, better moms. Yes, it was my kid who taught your precious snowflake the s/f/a whatever word. My bad.
Love you kids!