Parenting in the Deep End

our tiny little man, just a few days before coming home

It may be because of Easter, or because his birthday is coming up, but Daniel sure has lots to say and ask about Death, God and Heaven/Hell lately. Oh boy. It is at these moments that I take a deep breath, and forgive myself for totally winging it. After all, this is parenting in the Deep End, and we didn't wade in from the kiddie pool, oh no, we started out swimming in water over our heads.

We became parents instantly one day just over 18 months ago. And oh, yes there was lots and lots of planning and nesting and a super long pregnancy two year long adoption process. And oh yes, we had know for 6 months that we would be parents to Daniel and Lily. But still, adopting two children, two children who are not, by any stretch of the imagination, infants, is DIVING DEEP.  Think storm tossed seas, sharks swimming around, no flotation devices visible.  Daniel was 5 when he came home, and Lily 15 months. She had learned to walk the week before. (Gosh darn it! That still irks me, how close we were to seeing that big milestone.)  It was tough. As an example: Andrew and I both lost pounds (I mean, POUNDS) the first few weeks we were home with the kids.  We were just too busy and stressed out to eat. So on top of having to suddenly chase after two little kids during the boiling hot summer, now I had to hold my pants up while I did it!

So, I don't feel guilty (too guilty) when I hem and haw my way through answers to Daniel's meaning of life questions. Most parents have a few years, at least, to figure those answers out. Newborns don't turn to you to ask you what happens when you die. Our son (as soon as he learned enough English) did. (Which was at about 5 weeks home.)

Deep end parenting- you just grab onto whatever floating things you can find and you HOLD ON.  Eventually the seas calm, you start breathing normally and sometimes, sometimes you feel the sand beneath your feet again.

he's grown a bit since then.