So as I've written before (here and here), Lily is going through an Attachment phase. You could call it the Velcro phase, or the Glue phase, or the name-any-sticky-adhesive substance phase. She's ATTACHED to me.
And it's lovely, most of the time. She's growing in love, she's starting to understand that Mommy is special and sticks around, that I'm not just another long term caregiver, that I love her and I always will.
The parts that are not so lovely about her being attached to my hip are going to the bathroom with a 2 year old chaperone, and how she is treating her brother. Her new thing to do, any time Daniel is sitting with me, is to push him away and shout, "That's MY mommy!"
She knows that I'm Daniel's mommy too. She just doesn't like it.
And frankly, this doesn't bother Daniel all that much, because he is going through an opposite attachment phase... what I'll call the "nay, let's try another family", or the "can I be adopted again?" or the "this family @#$% isn't all it's cracked up to be!" phase. He's not so sure he loves us, because in his view a perfect parent gives him whatever toy he wants and lets him play video games all day. His ideal mommy lets him eat and drink whenever and whatever he likes, and always has the best apps on her i-phone. (None of that education junk!). He's finding out that life in a new family is hard, and he's kind of throwing up his hands a bit.
So I've got one kid who can't get enough kisses, and another who wipes them off.
But we keep on. I keep giving Daniel kisses, trying not to blow my stack when he wipes them off. I keep giving Lily kisses, trying not to roll my eyes when she insists on just one more.
I do long for the day when both of them can say, peacefully and with conviction, "That's my mom."
And it's lovely, most of the time. She's growing in love, she's starting to understand that Mommy is special and sticks around, that I'm not just another long term caregiver, that I love her and I always will.
The parts that are not so lovely about her being attached to my hip are going to the bathroom with a 2 year old chaperone, and how she is treating her brother. Her new thing to do, any time Daniel is sitting with me, is to push him away and shout, "That's MY mommy!"
She knows that I'm Daniel's mommy too. She just doesn't like it.
 |
| "cheeeeeeeese" |
And frankly, this doesn't bother Daniel all that much, because he is going through an opposite attachment phase... what I'll call the "nay, let's try another family", or the "can I be adopted again?" or the "this family @#$% isn't all it's cracked up to be!" phase. He's not so sure he loves us, because in his view a perfect parent gives him whatever toy he wants and lets him play video games all day. His ideal mommy lets him eat and drink whenever and whatever he likes, and always has the best apps on her i-phone. (None of that education junk!). He's finding out that life in a new family is hard, and he's kind of throwing up his hands a bit.
So I've got one kid who can't get enough kisses, and another who wipes them off.
But we keep on. I keep giving Daniel kisses, trying not to blow my stack when he wipes them off. I keep giving Lily kisses, trying not to roll my eyes when she insists on just one more.
I do long for the day when both of them can say, peacefully and with conviction, "That's my mom."
 |
| "make a nice face, D" |
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